More than ‘meh’: baby steps, not silver bullets
Without care, workplaces can feel detached and even negative. The solution to this detached impression doesn't have to be complicated though. Amy Luckey has three baby steps she'd like you to take with your team. As simple as they get, no big deal. As always, it's about intention and attention.
Parker Palmer
“Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed, we hide our true identities from each other. In the process, we become separate from our own souls. We end up living divided lives, so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the ‘integrity that comes from being who you are.”
Our workplaces - physical or virtual - are often far from “psychologically safe.” We role play “professional” through the day, detached from our colleagues and ourselves. Moreover, the more different we are from our colleagues, the less likely we can show up as ourselves.
In recognition of the ‘meh’ or even toxic state of our work lives, we are now bombarded with experts’ calls to boldly show up authentically and to display vulnerability on the job. For those that crave more than meh, yet for whom the chasm between our current experiences and a psychologically safe workplace is vast, here are three simple, small actions worth attempting. Baby steps, not silver bullets.
Say “Hello.”
Seriously, that’s it. When hosting a video call, we can greet participants by name as they arrive. When arriving, we can greet those already on the call. Whether vocally or in the chat, acknowledging the other humans in the room can shift the tone from stale and cold to welcoming and warm. In person, as well, simply acknowledging coworkers’ presence can positively change the atmosphere.
Offer more than “Fine.”
Sharing information about our inner lives can feel like much too giant a leap in many workplaces. In these cases we can experiment with offering small, yet real and true, windows into who we are and what we value.
When asked how we are, we can pause and reflect. Two beats, that’s all it takes. Perhaps a more descriptive adjective will come to mind as well as a reason that we are willing to risk sharing.
“I’m energized. I was able to get a run in this morning.”
“I’m dragging. This design sprint has been intense for me.”
“I’m relieved. Ginger, my dog, is recovering from a nasty bee sting.”
“I’m elated. My daughter will graduate from high school next weekend.”
“I’m doing well. The website redesign is coming together.”
“I’m looking forward to lunch. I have some empanadas that my husband made for dinner last night.”
“Just got back from vacation, and I have withdrawal symptoms.”
By offering even a sliver of insight into who we are beyond our titles and tasks, we create an opportunity for human connection.
Leaders: share first.
Whether we’re leading a single meeting, an ad hoc team, an organisational department, or the entire company, we signal to participants the extent to which they can show up as themselves. By simply offering something small and true about ourselves, we create space for those with less power in the situation to do so as well. Please, step up.
As my colleague Jonah Price reminds me, start with curiosity. Experiment.
Pick one baby step and try it for, say, one month.
Make it your own. Play with it.
What’s changed? What’s shifted? What will be your next baby step?
